Sunday, March 2, 2014




THE NOLEN OF OZ – SET IN THE LAND OF 8.0 MIXED

CASTING CALL FOR DTA PRODUCTIONS

After the success of The Return of the Kelly, DTA Productions and Brookhaven Community Theater are now having an open casting call for the heart-warming musical production, The Nolen of Oz. 

Our heroes are on another quest of sorts, but these heroes are on a very different road indeed.  Glenda the Mixed Good Witch has given Dorothy the ruby racquet from the Wicked Witch of SpringPark but she has still not found her way home to Nationals.  First, she must travel safely to seek advice from the Nolen of Oz.  She is joined in her adventure by the Dallas men’s upper tri-level teams, the Dallas men’s 8.5 combo teams, and every woman who has ever played 8.0 mixed.  [Editor’s note: that’s a big crowd but there have proven to be a lot more flying monkeys than anyone would have ever guessed.]

Even with the ruby racquet, the path to Nationals is treacherous and the Wicked Witch of SpringPark (even though he seems to be dead this year) has a sister that now lives at Greenhill.  Our heroes arrive in Oz and the wise Nolen of Oz agrees to grant each of them their heart’s desire, but only if they bring him the Wicked Witch of Greenhill’s tri-level nationals trophy.  “It’s a very dangerous request,” says Dorothy, “will you and your royal 4.5 guard be joining us?”  Oz looked around the palace, “I can join you but my royal guard seems to have disappeared after the third match of the season.”

You know the story from here - winged monkeys attack, Dorothy is captured, the Wicked Witch of Greenhill is killed by Dorothy slinging mud on him – but do you really know the true story?  Based on my review of the script so far, none of us do. 

So, with that in mind, and given the fact that you people just can’t seem to stop talking about mixed, it’s now a mini-series.  Watch every month this year to see if our heroine and her merry band can make their way home to Nationals or will the winged monkeys regroup and seek revenge.  Find out if the Wicked Witches are really dead, is the Nolen of Oz really all-knowing, and will Dorothy ever find her way back home.  Remember, there’s no place like Nationals, there’s no place like Nationals, there’s no place like Nationals.  

110 comments:

  1. Is that Zachary on the right?

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  2. Absolutely poetic. The wicked witch who owns the national trophy at Greenhill will not go quietly. I would imagine that every person that has ever breathed or played at CC would love to see the Grrenhill witch destroyed and have the pro shop fall on him. This is shaping up to become the most watched story of the year. If CC gets the right to play Greenhill for the right to go to sectionals you will need seating the size of Kansas. I'm not sure the great and powerful OZ could beat Kelly in a mixed match. BTW, Is Dorothy a good 3.5?

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  3. Can someone translate this please ?

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  4. Smoking weed when you wrote this?

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    1. More like shrooms or acid. I'm not for going over the rainbow.

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  5. I have NEVER seen one guy domInate so much of one city's tennis talk. It is absolutely incredible. How do you even play tennis with all the city hating on you and hoping for failure. Must have ice water for blood. Not sure any player in a local league comes anywhere close to the scrutiny and disdain Kellye gets. Makes his wins more impressive, thrives on that crap.

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  6. You either need to be in the loop or follow a little more closely. GH, CC & BH will have a blood feud in city playoffs. They've been yapping at each other for three years and there are more hard feelings than any men's match in town. I'm not much for mixed but it's gonna be fun to watch.

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  7. How can there be a feud when Springpark has dominated them?

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  8. Bitches bicker. What can I say? Why any man plays mixed is beyond me. It isn't like the chicks are ever hot.

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    Replies
    1. Lifetime used to get some hot chicks out. What happened?

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    2. Those may have been dudes. Can't tell the difference at Lifetime. Dudes are bitches there too

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    3. The men do emit a lot of estrogen at Lifetime.

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  9. Kelley would not do well in men's so he plays mixed. It is as simple as that. All his success is in mixed. Too much of a wimp to play anything else.

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  10. He can do ok in 40 and over but anyone w speed will dominate him in singles because of his age. I would see him doing no better than .500 in men's 18 and over. In singles even worse.

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  11. That may be the most ridiculous statement ever written on a blog (other than AA rant). Don't let hate obscure facts. Has won at every level he has played, men's and mixed. Even at 5.0. He would dominate 4.5 men's, period.

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  12. So if all CC's 4.5s really did bolt after the third match, what happened? That's two matches sine then and only one line was actually played. By Nolen.

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  13. Zackary doesn't need to ask Alan to tank. He would beat him anyway. I don't buy that. I think Alan is lying about that.

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  14. Good point, I know one line for sure Zacry needs no help on. Allen also not playin just for fun. Not buying that either.

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  15. Do Kelley and Auntie M beat Dorothy and the " Great OZ" in mixed?

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    Replies
    1. Kelly wins that playing w TOTO!

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  16. With all of this talk, how about the big TCD matches in 3C? Who is the favorite?

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    1. What should we talk about? Not much going on. The big 4.5 matches are a couple of weeks away. The 4.0s are actually done. And I'm not sure what to say about 3.5 anyway. And no one will volunteer what happened to the CC 4.5 team.

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    2. When CC heard Mike Kelly was back, they decided to boycott USTA league.

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    3. That is actually the rumor. Kelly not even playin men's though. He can even win by not playing.

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  17. Well, if they can't win with him playing how will they win when they don't play. If they were smart they should offer up a free membership. They then will win something. He likes Nolen from way back so "Jerry" and "Jimmy" should re unite one more time.

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    1. I think they went with the take my ball and go home strategy. They should win the same number of championships. Saves time this way.

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    2. They have a better chance next year when the team has to break up

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  18. I looked up what happens in the case of a team default. The DTA had this on their website.

    ..."If a “team default” occurs for any reason during round robin play, the defaulting team will 1) default all remaining matches in the round robin, 2) not be eligible for the same Local League Championship for that season, and 3) all team members of the defaulting team must split up in the following season with no more than 4 members of the defaulting team on any one team in the following season."...

    Looks like CC, will have problems fielding a 4.5 team.

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  19. They will not penalize CC on this. Too much clout and " good ol boy" mentality. Just watch and see.

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    1. Well, at least the Canyon Creek mixed team is doing well. They just need one win in their match this weekend and they are in playoffs. GO CREEK!

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    2. Canyon Creek and pressure don't mix.

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    3. We are playing the worst team, we will win all 3 lines.

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    4. Unless they all go to tie breakers

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  20. I am totally lost on this Nolen of Oz!?!?

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    1. It's not meant for the uninformed. Most of it is an inside joke

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  21. So if 4.0 over 40s is done how did it turn out? What happened?

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    1. Tennislink is your friend.

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    2. Tennislink? Who wants the facts? I'm looking for the dirt. Tennislink doesn't do color commentary.

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    3. He're my color commentary, we (Canyon Creek) suck at 3rd set breakers. The 40 + was ours to win or lose, and we lost it. Congrats to TBar and High Point for making the playoff rounds, some nice players on both teams. Sour grapes, damn right......who would like losing 3 of 3 3rd set breakers 10-8 in the TBar matchup, then following tha up with losing 2 of 3 3rd set breakers in the High Point match. Even the game counts were in our favor, we won 52 vs. 43 games against TBar and 58 vs. 48 games vs. High Point. Oh well, we were beat regardless, so again...congrats to Wiley and Beckner for out-captaining me. Looking forward to the Spring competition now. Wish the blog would get off the CC hating, I really don't see the tie in between our MEN's tennis membership and Kelly or any other drams. The 4.5 team was short on players in the 40 and over and had some injuries which made it even more shallow. Even taking the CC match as a default, the other 4.5 teams still got the same 7 matches that we got in 4.0....sure 8 would be better, but it is what it is. I guess rules are rules, so if that means no one from CC should be able to play 4.5 USTA for a year or whatever, that's fine......but really, who does it hurt. There a a number of (I'll use that word again) "nice" 4.5 players at CC that deserve to play. Surely none of the other teams are too afraid that having a CC 4.5 team in the mix is going to hurt them any. I've captained a number of 4.5 season's at CC, and I can assure you over those seasons we had more teams default lines than we did. S!1t happens.....so maybe the whole context should be considered before imposing a death penalty because of one 40 and over season.

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    4. Take a chill pill

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    5. McHugh was a class act as were his guys. Even had a few beers after. Ultimately its too bad HP, TBar and CC were all in the same flight because any one of them could be the best team in Dallas. I'm sure GH and McK are good teams as well, but CC had a very strong team.
      Keith Clark

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    6. Awwwww!.. Ain't that nice...

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    7. Go ahead and disrespect McKinney and Greenhill. You'll still have to play the matches.

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    8. It's not disrespecting GH and McKinney, it's sucking up to CC. Much worse.

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    9. Come on McHugh, why are you defending the AWOL 4.5 team? We don't make the rules, why should they get a free pass? They can play in the spring, the team just has to break up. Special consideration for CC. That's a shocker.

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    10. I honestly don't know why more 4.5 matches or at least lines weren't played, maybe I'll find out when I see more of the guys in the Spring. I just don't support the notion that the 4.5 players at CC that had no control over the situation get penalized. CC barely has enough guys to field a 4.5 team, so any more splitting other than what has occurred naturally would make it impossible for the others to play. By naturally, I mean that Reiman is going back to his JCC team of course, and is taking at least one of the best CC 4.5 players with him. I guess he and Resteiner want a rematch with Mike and Paul should Kelly and Kiron end up on the same team.

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    11. Fair enough, I suppose CC could petition Austin. That seems to work well.

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    12. I don't see Kelly and Kiron on the same team. Kelly won't be on a good team.

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    13. First time, long time:

      While you guys are sitting around congratulating yourself on 40 and over success why don't you come play some national events events against a 55 plus age teaching professional. I am ranked as high as #10 in the country, no questions asked.

      TRIPLE H

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    14. How about instead you just go play Kelly

      Triple Don't Care

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    15. Mchugh, are you serious? Reiman and Resteiner wanting a rematch with Kiron and Kelly? They could play them 100 times and lose 101. I saw the first one and Kelly stayed on his side of the court and was still a blowout. They are good players but would never beat double K's.

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    16. Petitioniing Austin works well when things are fabricated and grudges and hate involved. In this case the fact is many matches were defaulted.

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    17. Agree w earlier post. Reyman and Resteiner wouldn't beat Kellye and a decent 4,0.

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  22. No doubt. First Kelly was tried to be eradicated by creek and haven. That turned out to be unconstitutional, now more probs w the country clubbers. Stick to your city parks and recreations and just play for fun.

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  23. Anybody who has ever played Kelly or knows him realizes CC and Brookhaven had good reasons for trying to get him thrown out. Can everybody who has had Mike Kelly tank a match to them chime in or will the website crash like an Obamacare site?

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    1. Btw, thx for clarifying cc and bh tried to get him thrown out. Those of us not in the know wondered how he got his appeal. Nice try on their part though.

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  24. Only way it crashes would be if everyone who got beat by him at nationals chimes in.

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    1. To March 5, 8:45 poster:

      WELL SAID

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  25. "We represent the 4.5 league, the 4.5 league, the 4.5 league....And in the name of the 4.5 league, we wish to welcome you to La La land. We represent the rating police, the rating police, the rating police ...And in the name of the rating police, we welcome Kelly to La La land..... (tra la la la la la la la).
    From now on when we bump your butt you"ll be history, you'll be hist, you'll be hist, you'll be history.
    From now on we will glorify our claim!.
    You will be a bust, be a bust , be a bust in the hall of shame!...
    Weeeeee, want to welcome you to 5.0 land!"

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  26. Hey Kelley would you really take on Ryeman and Rusteiner with a 4.0? You're such a big talker, put your money where your mouth is?

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  27. The only "TRIPLE H" I know that has a national ranking is a teaching pro named Harland. I don't see Kelly beating Harland unless you count it as an upset.

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  28. You mean Harlan Hopchik? He's a decent 4.5 at best. Kelly beats him 10 out of 10 times. Pretty sure he's nationally ranked due to playing just about every tournament known to man, wins enough matches to get a lot of points.

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    1. Harland Hopshiek is a nice guy but Kelley would destroy him. Looks like Harland did beat a Brookhaven 4.5 guy Tony Addcock though.

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    2. That's the guy...Harland Hopchik! He says he's ranked in the top 50 nationally. You don't get ranking points without winning matches.

      IMHO, Kelley could even get a national ranking. He would tank every match and never get any points.

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    3. Adcock is a middle of the road 4.5 at best.

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  29. Why do you compare Kelley to everyone to see if he can beat them or vice versa. Even mchugh calls him out in a rant that Rhymer and Rustwhiner want another shot. Kellye is not even playing men's nor does he plan to. As much as I dislike him he is head and shoulders better than any 4.5 in Dallas, period. And he was at LAF at 7 am lifting weights and throwing a medicine ball w a trainer. He puts in the work but doesnt play mens, that is stupid. Let's talk about current matchups, not about two guys from JCC who want another shot at him in spring. That is absolutely ridiculous.

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    1. I was at IHOP at 7 AM eating the entire left side of the menu. Breakfast is one of the three most important meals of the day, and you need plenty of carbs to lift weights and play tennis with a medicine ball.

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    2. Hell, if I can beat Kelly, thne surely Resteiner and Reiman stand a chance don't they? (or is this little bit of sarcasm going over your head too). No, I wasn't being serious about Resteiner/Reiman wanting a rematch of the Trilevel final, my guess is they could care less. I still would have liked to have seen how much closer the match might have been had Hix been available, but regardless, my comment was just meant as a bit of humerous speculation on why Resteiner was playing at JCC this season. I know full well, the reality of it was likely that it was because CC didn't have a team number up until the 11th hour, so I'm sure Michael just suggested he play with him instead.

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    3. So when Reiner and Reshheiner could care less getting walloped at trilevel that is ok. But when Kelley could care less getting walloped by mchugh he is tanking???? Can't have it both ways. Hicks is a nice player, match is no closer w him playing bec conversely Kellye would have tried harder. Just curious, everyone tires of Kellye talk but you mention him in all 3 of your posts. HE IS NOT EVEN PLAYING IN MEN'S LEAGUES. That gives everyone else a chance, don't wake the giant.

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  30. So Kelley works out and trains. I would be as good if not better player too if I did all that but it is not that important, just tennis for fun. Who cares.

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    1. I care, but I digress. Since we all enjoy spending a large portion of our free time talking about everything Mike, let's have a poll on which is the correct way to spell his last name. Is it a) Kelley; b) Kellie; c) Kelly; d) Kellye; or e) it depends on whether he is playing mixed or mens doubles. Is it just me, or is this poll going to be the highlight of our weekend?

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    2. Anyone who trains and is diligent working out would whip Kelly's butt. There is no secret to beating him. I have played him twice but barely lost both times and I played horrible. He is solid but if u go in w a game plan and stick with it you will have success. Stupidly I let him get me in a rally match instead of using pace. That will not happen again.

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    3. I've beaten Kelly in the fall. In the spring we played a close match but he was just able to the points he needed. He isn't ll he is cracked up to be.

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    4. I have beaten him both times we have played. Spring and fall. Of course they were not city, sectional or national matches.

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    5. You guys are hilarious. The trick isn't to win. It's to win and have the other guy think they were just that close to pulling out the victory. It's the definition of great score management, winning and having the other guy think you aren't that good.

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    6. I was that close fool. It was 7-5,6-4 and lost serve both times. He lucked out on a net cord and I double faulted once. If I had practiced a tad more the scores would have been reversed in my favor beating him. He isnot capable of blowing anyone out, just good enough to barely win and age is creeping up on him to make the gap closer.

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    7. Be sure and let us know when you ACTUALLY win. Then you can say it was that close. If someone is good you have to beat them 3-3 so it doesn't get away from you. If you're not worried, it can be 5-4.

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    8. Believe me , Kellye was worried at 5-4 in both sets. He just treed out on a few points.

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    9. Why waste typing time with theoreticals, what ifs and rematches. Do you people not understand he has been to nationals so many times the league stuff is for practice. Unless it is a sectional or national match you will not get a motivated Kellye. Who cares about leagues, close sets, losses , wins, and almosts. Just have fun for crying out loud. He measures wins by nationals and most get excited to win a league match. It is all relative. Who cares about nationals????! !!!! It is too expensive and a waste of a weekend .

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  31. Think it is spelled T-A-N-K-E-R

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  32. Replies
    1. TANKR? That makes no sense whatsoever.

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  33. Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  34. There once was a bloke named Kelly
    whose reputation had grown quite smelly.
    He's a 5.0 they feel,
    but not after appeal,
    while his opponents curse him to Hell-y

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  35. Any chance we could get an update?

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  36. Well, Kelley is still a 4.5 somehow. 4.0 races tight. Russouw mighty Dallas roster closer to last than first.

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    1. Yes, but Russo has a mighty strong Fort Worth team. That is his real team. Not sure why a guy who mostly plays out of Fort Worth concerns himself so much with Dallas. Maybe he is trying the DTA money from his nationals stipends.

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    2. OMG! Kelley and Vince Spadae are hitting at Four Seasons racket club outdoors. How can I post a pic? Oddly enough Kelly looks more fit. I guess spadea tanking.

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    3. It is the BNP Paribas, I thought Kelly was at Indian Wells warming up Federer. After reading this blog, Stefan Edberg brought him in to simulate the style of Nadal.

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  37. Lol. He should use Kelly for the mental aspect of helping Fed. Definitely fed could use some mind game tennis on his opponents. Like losing exhibitions and winning slams.

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  38. Enuff Kelly talk. Who will have the best 18 and over 4.5 team in spring?

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    1. Hard to say, Kellyhasn't signed up.

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    2. He will not sign up for a contender. Playing just for fun this spring from what he told me. Actually going to to a triathlon schedule this fall. TennIs will be secondary he says. Must be rough to be able to skip more national events than most people win city playoff matches.

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  39. If Kelley is serious and trying to win (which is rare), the team he is on starts out 1-0. Period.

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  40. Please only blog on Tennis related facts and players who take it serious!

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    1. It is a game and we don't get paid. Nobody takes it very serious .

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    2. You apparently don't play for a playoff team.

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  41. I don't but am desperately captaing as many teams out of dual cities and hoarding as many as possible so I can say I have gone to nationals ONCE in my life.

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    1. You can go. Watching doesn't cost anything. Just buy a plane ticket, rent a car and get a hotel.

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    2. Yeah, go. Our team's bandwagon has enough room even for both city teams.

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  42. Quality Always beats quantity

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    1. 52 players, 8 matches and a roster in FW and Dallas. I can pay two sets of league fees and still only get three matches. Love my captain.

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    2. And you still don't get to nationals on either team ... Priceless

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  43. All the fault of the foolish people that signed up. The defections , however, will be swift and broad. The managerial act has worn thin.

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    Replies
    1. That's a dangerous approach. Evidently if you leave the team you get turned in to the NTRP police in Austin

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  44. True, but not sure any of his players are irreplaceable. Kelly was.

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  45. If the twin cities shaftain, um captain, would have had Kellye around he would have been to nationals by now. He would never admit it but letting the "big fish" get away will haunt him the rest of his tennis life.

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